My experiences ... wow

Use this forum to share your experiences with Bliss. What you liked or didn't like. What worked for you and your partner. Ideas to help others enjoy the game.

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My experiences ... wow

Postby jammin » Sun Sep 16, 2007 9:42 pm

My wife and I have been happily married for 8 years. However for a variety of reasons, our sex life had become completely non-existant in the last few years.

One of the reasons is that my wife experiences pain during intercourse. This is something we still have to work out, but it was also getting in the way of other types of sexual activity. Even though I am happy to play in other ways, she had no interest just in case it developed into intercourse. Her sex drive was zero, and we fell into a long term sexless pattern where we never tried because she didn't want to the disappointment of "failure". She had actually given up on the idea of having a fulfilling sex life and used to joke about becoming a nun.

In an attempt to turn this around, I did some research and found this game. She was open to the idea as she knew something had to change, but was very skeptical. Several attempts to schedule an evening were delayed until last night we finally had a go. As I gathered the toys together, she became extremely nervous and I was sure she might pull out. (A tip for others in a similar situation - leave the toys discretely accessible somewhere, don't put them all in a pile on the coffee table!)

Setting up the game initially was uncomfortable. She was unclear what the actual objective of the game was, as I made it clear that the basic game did not include intercourse. She didn't really understand about setting the maximum passion level, and fear of the unknown made her want to set it to "warm". I explained that it probably made sense to set it to the maximum and we could always dial it back manually or stop if either of us got uncomfortable. We also set the game speed to "Slow".

After several drinks (this really helped!) and the gentle early rounds, she was clearly having fun. Although some of the talking actions were initially disconcerting, they really worked well at increasing the passion level and making us comfortable just talking about things like that again. As the actions got bolder, I was amazed at the gusto she put in, and as our clothes started to come off we were both having a great time.

We ended up playing for more than three hours, spending quite some time at the Nuclear level. It was the most fun either of us had had for years - I never would have thought such a release of inhibitions would be possible in one session! I had always been curious about playing with toys like food, but wouldn't have suggested it ... but when it's an instruction from "the game", who are we to disobey it?! :D (if course if we were seriously uncomfortable with something we would have, but that didn't happen)

I credit this game with rescuing our sex life, and possibly making it even stronger than the early passionate days! I look forward to playing it again and again.
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Postby Beloved » Mon Sep 17, 2007 1:25 am

that's wonderful that you found this game and it has helped! regarding the pain during intercourse, has this always been a problem? i have no idea what her age is, but if this is something that has developed over time, it could be hormonal, possibly peri-menopausal. i've found that taking estrovan supplements (it's all natural and over the counter) helps tremendously.
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Postby jammin » Mon Sep 17, 2007 2:55 am

Beloved wrote:that's wonderful that you found this game and it has helped! regarding the pain during intercourse, has this always been a problem? i have no idea what her age is, but if this is something that has developed over time, it could be hormonal, possibly peri-menopausal. i've found that taking estrovan supplements (it's all natural and over the counter) helps tremendously.


Thanks for your post ... she is 43 and due to chemotherapy a few years back we believe she is now in the very early stages of menopause (not confirmed). We've also been through several (failed) IVF cycles over the years, which also create an enourmous physical and emotional toll. Yes it's been a big few years for us!

However this pain problem started well before the cancer and the IVF, and it's gradually gotten worse. I had assumed at least some of it was caused by the anxiety and I hope that some of our new found liberation will help, but it obviously has a physical cause as well.

She describes it as a burning sensation in the walls of the vagina, and it's not even particularly deep thrusting that causes it. She has had endomitriosis before which can cause painful sex, but we've been told that couldn't cause pain with such shallow penetration.

Anyway I will definitely suggest she try the estrovan. The main thing is that this game has given her the motivation to continue investigating!

Thanks again
Ben
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Postby Beloved » Fri Sep 21, 2007 1:07 am

please let me know how the estrovan works out. i'm also 43, and started getting peri-menopausal symptoms nearly ten years ago. about two years ago, maybe three, i had similar symptoms with the burning sensation in the vaginal walls. it got to the point where i would cringe the moment my husband touched me, and by the time he was finished, i was in tears. he lived in a constant state of feeling emotionally rejected because IF i let him near me, i hated every minute of it.

we didn't know bliss existed at that point in time... so i credit estrovan as having saved our sex life. and it saved it much quicker than the package claimed it would... there was a noticeable improvement after a couple of weeks.

it also helped with mood swings, hot flashes and night sweats :)
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Postby brucekathy » Mon Oct 01, 2007 12:48 pm

I am very happy for you that the game is helping your relationship. I am also glad that Beloved has found estrovan to work for her, but I caution you about taking medical advice from a message board. With a history of cancer, and the issues with hormone replacement, this product may not be a good choice. The claim of "all natural" does not have any real meaning. Hormones are natural, so is arsenic, and great white sharks. Beloved is very kind to share such a positive suggestion, I just would consult with your doctor before trying estrovan.
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Postby jammin » Mon Oct 01, 2007 7:46 pm

Thanks, that's exactly what my wife said when I suggested it. She's reluctant to do anything involving estrogen levels due to the cancer history until we run it by her doctor.

Still appreciate the suggestion though beloved, and hopefully we will get to try it.

Cheers
Jammin
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Postby Dr. D. Light » Sun Oct 07, 2007 4:26 pm

I am so glad to have read your message!

If your wife's doctor approves Estrovan, or any other supplement, that is great! (And good advice as well, to check with the doctor first!)

I'd also recommend using a lot of lubrication! I highly recommend Play by Durex - in 'Tingling'. You don't have to go for penetration (even shallow) but, we have found just the application to the outer areas causes enough sensation (pleasant!) to create a clitoral orgasm for some women, and can also provide stimulation for some men (to bring about orgasm) with manual stimulation as well. So - while not full intercourse, this may be something to consider for the lubrication which is listed under 'toys/items available'.

Also, when your wife is talking to her doctor, she may want to ask if she has vaginismus. This is a painful condition, and is often compounded by anxiety - though anxiety is NOT the sole cause. The good news, is that it can be remedied!

However, I also know that for some reason, many of us are shy about talking to our doctors about such details.

Good luck!

Dr. D. Light
May your relationship be full of Bliss and Delight!
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