Games for Loving

My wife and I are wondering if there is a way to increase the chances of higher level actions to be selected. We have set up personal profiles and set the levels on the actions we like a well as disabling the ones we don't. When we start the game we select all of the toys included for play, such as strapon, however actions using those toys rarely if ever come up. When we start the game we both start at explosive to nuclear and set for fast play. I'm not understanding why the actions we want more frequently are not showing up at all. Any help would be appreciated.